Month: June 2020

Chapter 64: Miss M’s Retribution + My Predicament

My dream. I’m dreaming again.

I’m in that place again.

The cave.

I still have no idea where this cave is, or what that brightness outside may be.

Or why I am a ghost on Mystix but only when I am dreaming.

Honestly, there are a near infinite amount of questions I can be asking but I have a strong doubt any of them will be answered in any way.

It may not be my place to learn that kind of information, as such a low-level being. On Earth, a D-Rank hero seems to be a considerable power upgrade to most who roam that world. On Mystix, I am just one of millions of D-Rank heroes, and when those heroes are alive they’re obviously much stronger than me.


I can’t even say THAT is true. There is so little information.

And Miss M has left me in this cave all on my own.

And again, on this night, she is not back.

Actually… I don’t believe it is actually night for me back on Earth. I am having some trouble remembering how I ended up unconscious, but that might be for the best, because I do not usually fall asleep in such a state where I cannot even remember how I got there. I also rarely dreamt up until I got to Earth, so this further compounds things.

It is a pitiful existence, being a ghost like this, simply staying in one place or moving at such a slow rate that I may as well be floating aimlessly on a gentle current in a stream.

If only I could access my HUD, I could at least pass the time by sifting through my stats and possibly even entertaining the thought of reactivating the Personality feature on the status boxes. But like I am in this corpoeral form, it is not possible to do any of that.

I must simply float and wait.

Float and wait…

Float and—


It’s her.

It’s Miss M!

She’s finally here for me! After all this time, she’s finally back!!!

“MISS M!!” I attempt to leap at her for a hug.


I’m a ghost.

I can’t hug people, let alone leap.

But here she is, Miss M.

She’s so much taller than she was when we were on Team Fanghook together. She’s over five feet tall, and while she’s still pudgy and hardly menacing from appearance alone, she has a new sort of elegance about her that makes it clear that she was once a demon queen. The bandages and burns that covered her when we last met are no longer present, and her hair is more neatly trimmed from its prior disheveled look. How she managed to do that in just a couple days along with whatever perilous tasks she likely had to do is beyond me.

However she looks, Miss M has finally returned to this spot in this mysterious cave and we can finally embark in whatever enigmatic quest she has set us upon.

“If you’re here, then let us embark,” I say.


“Uh, what?”

“Eryk, you’re too hasty. Don’t you remember why I left you here in the first place?” she asks.

“N-not really…”

“I was bringing an old friend back. All my adventures to get to here, all of the life I’ve risked and friends I’ve betrayed, and it’s finally gotten to me. I don’t want to be a villain anymore, Eryk. I’m done sacrificing things. So, for once in my life, I’m doing the right thing.”

“Miss M, you’re not a villain. You’re helping me—”

“We never said this would help you,” she snaps. “You must remember that I’m a bad person. I’m a damned demon queen, after all. I’ve never been one for altruism. Even if I’m doing the right thing, it may be for the wrong reasons.”

“I suspect you might be underselling the goodness within your own heart,” I say. “You have always been known to be a little bit hard on yourself, and this situation seems to be very similar. I implore you to look less critically at your own actions! Anything you do to help me will be of infinite benefit to your overall person.”

“You really aren’t listening to me. I’m—” Miss M sighs and presses her tiny fingers against her temples. “It doesn’t matter. All I want to say is that an old friend of yours is going to show up any second, and it’s going to be a real shocking twist that you’re going to be very excited by. Or disgusted. Or a little bit of both. Just… be prepared.”

“You’re starting to scare me, Miss M,” I say. “What do you…”

“It’s only a few minutes before I REALLY scare you. The reason for your being here will finally be revealed.” Miss M crosses her arms and looks down in some sort of deep contemplation. I notice finally that she has a giant dragonsword strapped to her back. Why is that there and not in her inventory?

All of these strange occurrences, and the biggest one of all hasn’t yet begun to pop in my mind. I just wish I could remember what it was that I was supposed to be thinking about… It feels so strange to me that… I don’t even know.

And then all of my worries, all of my doubts are cast aside in an instant.

The glow of a thousand radiating angels bursts into the cavern coming from the same direction that Miss M emerged from.

It’s an old friend, indeed.

“Miss M, you’re a complete bastard,” I say, a smile spreading across my ghostly face wider than a cheshire cat witnessing a heinous crime. “You’re a bastard who—Wait, what?”

Wh… WHAT?!

And then everything gets really wet all of a sudden.


My eyes pop open and my great strength attempts to burst out of the many bindings holding me down.

But by the time I become fully conscious, I realize that there is no escaping for me. Not from… Uh, I have no idea.

I was just dreaming, but my memories have become hazy and forgotten after mere seconds.

Where am I? Who am I? Just kidding on the second one, as I am clearly Eryk Solbourne, D-Rank [Adventurer] as I always have been and always will be, but I do wish I knew why I was in a bunch of bindings right now.

And then it hits me.

I am being quite literal when I say that. Another bucket of water splashes over my face, ice cold and most definitely helping me wake up now.

Now I finally see that I am strapped to a chair in front of a large table. Francis and Delta are in the same predicament, with Francis sitting on my left and Delta sitting on my right.

In front of us, I would of course be expecting Pablo Rosas, the purveyor of Paso Robles who captured us. He is currently nowhere to be found.

Instead of him are several figures who are cloaked, but with their faces plainly visible. They are… all middle aged women with fair skin and complexions.

One of the women takes off her hood to reveal graying curly hair. She puts a nametag over her left breast to signify herself. The name reads… Karen.

“Welcome to Paso Robles,” Karen says. “We have been expecting you for a long time.”

“You… have?” I ask.

“We always keep an eye out for prospective new residents of our wonderful town,” she says. “You are one of many to have caught our attention.”

I gulp reflexively. “Who are you?”

“My name is Karen,” says Karen. “And my organization is going to make sure that you three becoming loving and permanent members of the Paso Robles community. We expect the best of you.”

A wave of uncertainty washes over me.

I have no idea what I’m dealing with here. Not at all.

Special: Julie Rafati, Associate Professor

This is Julie Rafati.

She is the woman in the pantsuit standing in a lecture hall that seats eighty-five. The woman talking about the basic principles of macroeconomics to a room full of teenagers. The woman gawked at by many of the libido-crazed women and men who aren’t listening to a word she’s saying.

But we cannot see inside the mind of Julie Rafati. She is not a mind in which this story can view, and unfortunately that means we can only be passive observers to the action that follows.

Despite that, we can know these things:

Julie Rafati, born Julie Khatree, is from Augusta, Georgia. Her parents run a hotel.

Julie is adopted.

Julie is twenty-five years old.

Julie has been married to Delta Rafati for three years, since February 2020.

Julie is an Economics professor at San Fransisco State University.

Julie’s favorite film is Mystic Pizza.

Julie’s favorite video game is Gaia Online.

Julia’s Deviantart username is TrintyxOfxWonder.

With those things in mind, we can watch as she teaches about the concepts of supply and demand, as she draws a crude graph on the chalkboard and as students copy that graph down onto their notebooks (the ones not distracted by staring at her, that is).

Her teaching is effective. The students paying attention understand easily. They figure out what she is trying to say and even how real-world examples can apply. She talks about the pandemic a few years back and how prices fluctuated rapidly based on these very principles. The students feel satisfied, and their minds grow further attuned to the modern world.

Even when this class is held at eight in the morning, the students are still engaged. They’re still energized enough to learn and grow in ways that will prepare them to take advantage of life in the real world, for a career they do not yet have.

And when it’s over, the atmosphere in such a classroom remains quite pleasant, and persists throughout the day. Julie teaches two more of the same class, going over the exact same subjects, and they go exceedingly well just the same.

Julie keeps a smile on her face throughout. It may take a few cups of coffee for her lessons to stay as consistently fast-paced as they are, but the happy expression never fades, not until she is back in her office, sitting at her desk and reading through her print newspaper. Only then do the ends of her mouth finally turn downwards.

It has been a long day for Julie, but at 2 PM her classes are finally done. She sits in for office hours, which no student has scheduled her for as of yet. It doesn’t seem likely that one will show up…

Which, of course, mean that one does. It’s Amanda Yates, a sophomore who is already quite well-known around campus for her diligence, sometimes in negative ways by professors who are subjected to her inquisitive visits and relentless pursuit of top grades.

“Professor Rafati?” Amanda asks with two taps on her already-open front door. “Are you in?”

“I’m in,” Julie says, beaming with a smile. “What a pleasure to see you here today! Come in.”

Amanda comes in, but does not sit at the chair that is in front of Julie’s desk. Instead, she stands, posture tall, with a piece of paper in her right hand. “I need to talk to you about this essay.”

“Oh, what is it? You know, I really enjoyed that piece. You certainly understand the concepts of the free market in a way your classmates really haven’t reached yet. I almost want to poach you for an Economics major one day, if you’ll think about it.” Julie laughs softly. “Oh, but I guess you’re dead set on that PoliSci degree, aren’t you?”

“It’s not…” Amanda grumbles something unintelligible. “I’m trying to figure out why you gave me a 93. What did I do wrong? How can you justify taking off seven points? You didn’t write any criticisms on the paper, so how am I supposed to know?”

Julie clasps her hands together. “Amanda, you’re a good student.”

“Th-thank you, but…”

“Why don’t you take a seat? You’re getting too worked up.”

Hesitantly, Amanda sits down, though she keeps her posture up straight. “Professor…”

“Your paper isn’t perfect. In fact, nobody’s papers are perfect. There’s always problems that you can learn from to fix your content and research for next time. College is all about these learning experiences.”

“We both know that’s not what college is about,” Amanda says. “We both know it’s an exercise of corporate America to shackle young people with debt and to instill conformist liberal ideas in impressionable minds as a requirement for getting a decent job. It’s not about learning. It’s about money.”

Julie laughs, hands still clasped. “Oh, Amanda. You really are a PoliSci major. Why don’t you go relax at home and come back tomorrow? You look so stressed out.”

Julie’s tone is sweet and calm, but Amanda’s grows increasingly at edge.

“A 93 brings my overall grade down, Professor. I need…”

“A 95 is nothing to sneeze at. You’ll be fine. Better than fine. You might even win some scholarships if you apply.”

Suddenly, Amanda’s posture relaxes. She leans in close to Julie’s desk. “I get what this is all about. I know why you gave me a 93. You want me to ‘earn those bonus points’ by coming in here and sucking your cock. Is that what you want? Because I’ll do it. I’ll report you to the board, but I’ll at least do it first.”

“But I don’t have a cock.” Julie leans back in her chair and unclasps her hands. “Amanda, I took points off because you repeated yourself in redundant paragraphs that only existed to push the pagecount further. And because you changed the margins to 0.9 inches on all sides. I always take two points off for that last one.”


“Why don’t you go home and have some dinner, go out with some friends, get drunk on vodka sodas, and we’ll both forget about this conversation?”

“I…” Amanda gulps. “I don’t have any friends yet. And I’m only eighteen.”

“Well, I wish you good luck in finding friends and a fake ID.”

Without another word, Amanda stands up and leaves Julie’s office.

Julie’s smile remains for another fifteen seconds, and then it goes away once again as she returns to reading the newspaper. It doesn’t return again until she looks at herself in the bathroom mirror at home, a few hours later.

A faint pink can be seen in her otherwise red hair. Her roots are growing back in. She pulls out her phone and immediately schedules an appointment with her specialist hair stylist for a coloring. After that, she continues to look at herself in the mirror for a while, testing out different kinds of smiles she can use.

After that, she goes into her kitchen, empty and silent without her wife around, and makes a peanut butter sandwich. Then, when she is still hungry after finishing it, she makes herself another.

With no notable programs currently airing on the summer season of TV, and especially nothing airing now in the late evening, Julie ends up going into her bedroom and turning the rest of the lights in the house off.

She gets out her laptop, opens up her web browser, and scrolls over to the bookmarks folder labeled as “Research Documents 7/2018.” In there, she peruses the various items of interest, whether that include two men, or two women, or potentially even a combination of three. But before she can decide on an option, she receives a text message.

It’s from Delta, her wife of three years who is currently going on an adventure with her best friend Francis and someone who Julie has never met. Julie sees the message and on her face appears a smile of a very different sort from usual.

Delta: hey julieJulie: Good evening, darling. :)Julie: How are you doing?Delta: we just got to paso robles todayDelta: kinda weird place so farDelta: whats up w youJulie: Oh, nothing special. I was about to watch some porn.Delta: oh coolDelta: right now im watching this movie called chasing amy, you ever heard of itJulie: I can’t say I have.Delta: its pretty goodDetla: kinda weird but its a kevin smith thingJulie: I never really liked the guy’s work.Detla: clerks is great thoughJulie: Well that’s your opinion :)Delta: anywayDelta: i love youJulie: I love you too, Delta.Delta: you know what, dont watch porn just yetJulie: And why is that?

A few minutes pass and Julie waits for a response. For a moment, it appears as though Delta has fallen asleep or something like that, but finally Julie receives a few new messages, all of them pictures.

Pictures of a certain type that were obviously shot with a sense of artistic ambition with interesting angles, even if they did not necessarily succeed.

Delta: how you you like themJulie: They’re wonderful! :DJulie: You haven’t sent me any of these since I moved to San Fransisco. It’s been so long!Delta: yeah bringing us back to the good old daysDelta: weve done this shit beforeDelta: we know how the game rollsJulie: Yes. It may be lonely for a little while, but I’m going to be very happy to see you return.Delta: yeah me tooDelta: i love you so muchJulie: And I you.Julie: I can’t wait to start a family with you, Delta. :)Delta: yeah i guess we didnt finish that convo did weDelta: well im still thinking about it and idk still yet butDelta: i know how much it means to you so maybe we can do itJulie: Yeah. It’ll be great.Julie: Are you feeling well?Delta: uh yeah i guess whyJulie: No reason.Julie: As for myself, I’m feeling great. Especially after your message.Delta: make good use of those photosDelta: and send me some but i wont get to use them for a bitJulie: Duly noted!Delta: k see youJulie: Good night.

That certain smile stays on Julie’s face the rest of the night and into the next morning.

We cannot see into Julie’s head. We cannot say for sure how she is feeling. So this smile is all we can use for evidence.

Chapter 63: Listen, I Didn’t Say We Were Smart

“The height is a little bit more intimidating when you look at it from this angle…” Francis says.

The three of us, once again still in the hot springs bath and still buck naked (how many hours has it been by now?), are standing over the edge of the glass-free window and to the grass on the ground below.

It’s a two story drop. I’ve probably survived a four story drop or two in my time as an [Adventurer,] but I tended to have skills to help me or Thalia’s magical spells to soften damage. So this height is still considerably intimidating now.

“Just remember to hit the ground with your feet flat, your knees bent, and then keep the momentum going with a run or a roll. You’ll be fine if you do that.”

“This is exactly what characters do in Royals of Foreign Lands when they need to minimize fall damage,” Francis says in some sort of quiet awe.

“I’m really worried about, you know, being naked and people seeing us,” Delta says. “Maybe it’s not as bad for you two, but I got a little bit of a different situation here.” She beckons down to her genitals.

“What? You think it’s any better for us? That’s so unfair!” Francis exclaims. “It’s even more embarrassing because—”

“Let’s cease our usual series of silly banter and get on with our escape plan,” I say.

They both nod in return.

So our plan is simple, since Francis is a genius of planning things in clear ways:

First, we take our towels and dry off. That’s only natural. We will keep these towels with us so we can use them if the time comes that they are necessary.

Second, we will leap out the window. It is wide and there is no glass barrier, so it is an easy task in and of itself, but we must take care to land properly on the grass two stories below, or else we will injure ourselves. I would like for my Life Points not to go down from an event like this, so I will take great caution here.

Thirdly, we will find another bath on the first floor of the building and sneak into it to pretend like we were there all along. To be honest I’m not entirely sure how a hot springs works when it is two stories high, but I will leave that question to the wonders of modern Earth technology.

Fourthly, we will call on the clerk attendant to help us retrieve our personal belongings which were left outside the original bath and are too dangerous to get ourselves lest we be spotted by Pablo Rosas himself.

Fifthly, we will call a vehicle over to the back entrance and escape before anyone finds out what happened.

And so it’s a very simple plan. We put it into action as quickly as we can…

Until the third step, that is.

“It’s locked,” Delta says. “The window is locked. There’s glass pane windows on the first floor, and they are locked.”

“That,” Francis says, “is not something I had counted on.”

“Well, what shall we do?” I ask. “What is there for us to do? Could we summon a driver and simply leave our lost possessions behind? Surely they will accomodate our unclothed status if we give extra money.”

“We can’t even call an Uber without our damn phones,” Delta replies.

“Oh, right. Why did we leave our phones in those receptacles again?”

“Because phones will break if you leave them in super steamy rooms,” Francis says.

“What a shoddy design flaw.”

“Yeah, I’m thinking the same thing…”

Our next improvised phase of the plan comes with very little deliberation:

We run back through the front entrance of the hot springs and scramble through the lobby.

The clerk at the front stares at us nonchalantly, as if she were completely unfazed by our being naked and also sprinting.

“Have a good day,” she says.

We run past her and into the baths towards our own room. As we continue going up the stairs at a blizting speed, Francis chuckles, and remarks, “I thought running naked would be really painful, but I don’t feel a thing.”

“You’ve never run naked before?” I ask.

“You have?”

“Well, yes, of course. From time to time.”

“What a weirdo.” He giggles. “And it’s a good thing Delta here has the chest of a teenage boy because otherwise this might be killing her.”

“Can we go five minutes without discussing my breasts?!”

“I must agree on that, Francis,” I say.

“You too, with all your pervert gawking at me!”

“…My apologies.”

We find our bath and run over to the storage bins. All our clothes and phones and other items are still here, just like normal.

And no sign of Pablo or anyone else at all.

It seems safe.

We all get dressed as quickly as we can.

“This seems kinda suspicious,” Francis says.

“I disagree,” I say. “I sense nothing.”

Delta stares at her baggy clothing and mumbles to herself. “….maybe I should get more form fitting…”

“Oh, if you sense nothing, then it should be OK I guess,” he says. “Let’s get—”

“Ah, there you are!” Pablo exclaims as he steps out from a random bath. “I’ve been looking all over for you. Are you guys ready to experience a new day at Paso Robles?”

I step in front of my friends. “Get back,” I warn him. “I am Eryk Solbourne, D-Rank [Adventurer.] I defeated the Persian Mob.”

“You defeated like five guys, not the whole mob,” Delta says, unhelpfully.

“What?” Pablo tilts his head to the side. “But you only just got here. You are already threatening me, but I did nothing to harm you… I only want to help you.”

And then, from each of the baths that were not occupied by ourselves, out steps a different hooded figure. Six in all. They have us surrounded on both sides.

“What are we gonna do…” Francis asks.

“I’ll just have to use one of my best Destiny Cards,” I say. “I will—”

I feel a sharp pain at my neck.

Then I look down and see a piece of metal sticking out of it. A dart of some sort.

[New status effect: Slumber.]

Oh, no…

“You’ll be loving Paso Robles in a few hours,” Pablo Rosas says. “Just you wait.”

Darts hit Francis and Delta as well, but I can’t see what’s happening to them for much longer because my vision blurs.

“You… Fiend…”

“I’m a good friend indeed,” he says.

I collapse on the floor and black out.

Chapter 62: An Escape While Still Naked

“Will you let him in?” the clerk asks us.

Delta, Francis, and I each stare at each other in horror.

After all our sneaking around, all our foolish decisions to stick in Paso Robles instead of leave as soon as possible, we have been met by a fate that could have been expected by anyone that isn’t us: Pablo Rosas has found us again.

If he enters this bath, there is nowhere we can go to escape him. Nowhere for us to run if he attempts to do something unsavory such as force us to listen to the full unabridged history of the town without leaving the waters until he is finished.

“What do we do?” Francis asks, his eyes wide with terror. “What do we do?”

“No thank you,” Delta shouts to the clerk from behind the door.

“Okay,” she says. “I’ll let him know.”

“Wait! Don’t let him know,” she adds. “Stall him.”

But the voice does not respond. The woman must already be gone…

Francis stands up, briefly, showing off a triumphant pose of defiance (and also his bare body and certain surprisingly robust features). “We won’t stand for the tyranny of a man who wants to keep us chained in the shackles of fear! We are the Systemless Squad! A trio of best friends who will stop at nothing to achieve the goal of having fun, kicking ass, and gaining Destiny Points! Some wimp named Pablo ain’t gonna stop that!”

Reflexively, Delta and I begin to softly clap.

He continues. “We have to figure out a really great plan but that’s the easy part because we always think of the very best plans. We’re naked and stuck in a giant bath and all our stuff is in cubbies outside, but that’s just a minor disadvantage. We’ll figure out how to overcome any obstacles that stand in our way. Or…” He sits back in the water. “Or maybe we’re doomed.” He sinks down lower until all but his head is submerged. “Maybe if we wait a while he’ll go away on his own…”

“I’m not dealing with that. I hate getting pruny,” Delta says. “Even torture is worse than that.”

“Are you serious?” I ask.

“No, screw you,” she responds.

I take the insult in stride. “Well then, I think that we are far from doomed. Until that last part, Francis’s words have inspired me and invigorated me spirit. With that in mind, I feel that we should assess our options the best we can.”

“And we can do that… how?” Delta asks.

It is now my turn to stand up from the bath and bare my full body (and its unsurprisingly robust features, which Delta stares at in disgust) to the other two. “I can use my [Skill Check] card and illuminate the variables which lay hidden in this very room!”

Here is the card, for reference:

Skill Check: Rank 1. Examine the variables around you. (There is a small chance that your next action will go exceedingly well or exceedingly poorly.) Cost: 50 LP.

That is exactly what I need.

Here it goes!

[Skill Check!]

[-50 LP.]

[12,157/15,000 LP.]

Numbers and percents appear all around me. My entire field of vision from head to toe is covered in data for me to analyze.

“What do you see?” Francis asks. “What does it… do?”

“I can see the chances of everything. I can see the status of various items around me. I can even sense your own vitalities…”

“That’s creepy,” Delta says.

“Much less creepy,” I say, “Is my ability to predict the chances of death at any given moment. The floors are slippery and the chances of us falling are over 15%. The soap here has enough germ killing power that it could be a handy weapon against certain bacterial monster types. This window out here looks intimidating, but it appears it would be relatively safe to jump out of it, at least for Delta and myself. Francis has a 3.5% chance of breaking his back if he jumps.”

“The window…” Francis mutters. “Interesting…”

“I can examine more stats than I ever have access to normally,” I continue. “For instance, this soak has decreased my Life Points drain by twenty percent; rather than losing a Life Point about once every sixty seconds, it takes about a minute and fifteen seconds. In addition, my health seems to be in good order, with my BPM at 112 and my brainflow at optimal levels. Curiously, my libido is at a 68.9% level, though I do not feel that I would be willing to act on such a thing.”

“Heh,” Francis chuckles. “I guess we are all naked in a hot springs together. If only Delta weren’t gay and I wasn’t straight, we could totally h—”

“Shut…” Delta shudders too much to finish her sentence.

After Chasing Amy, I completely understand.

I take a look at my two companions and their own vitals.

Interestingly, Francis’s health is in perfectly good order despite his out of shape physical features. He is proof that looks can be deceiving. And despite his crude remark, his own libido is at a mere 2.2%. Am I truly that unattractive?!

Delta’s stats are a bit off for what I would expect from a normal twentysomething woman. It’s almost like…

Wait a minute.

There’s another vital sign right below the water. Right in Delta’s lap, there’s another stat chart with BPM and nutrition and other things.

Delta… Are you…

I sit back down in the water and let the warmth soak over me again (a very relaxing sensation, by the way). I give Delta a long, hard look, but she doesn’t seem to understand and instead simply sneers at me.

She doesn’t even know, does she?

I have no idea how to delicately broach a subject like this…

“Delta, did you know that you’re—”

No! That’s not the correct way to do that! Even I’m smart enough not to blurt that out in the middle of a scene like this.

“What did I know?” she asks.

“Did you know that you’re a really beautiful woman?”


Whew, saved.

“You know, I think we can avoid Pablo Rosas,” Francis says. “I think I have an actual plan.”

“You do?” I ask.

“Yeah, if we just go out the window, we can escape through the back.”

“Without our phones, or our clothes,” Delta adds.

“We’ll have to go back inside and get them,” he says. “It might be a bit embarrassing, but at least we have some towels to cover up with I guess.”

“There’s a 1.2% chance I accidentally strangle myself with a towel when we jump out the window,” I say.

“Uh, ok… But we can escape out the window, then climb into ANOTHER bath. That way we can ask for the clerk who will retrieve our things without letting Pablo Rosas know, and then we can escape out the window again and bam, everything’s solved.”

“…Not a terrible idea at all,” I say. “Except, can we truly trust the clerk to do what we ask?”

“The only other option is to take a bus back and hope that they don’t drop us off at the nudist colony instead.”

“Nudist colony? What’s that?”


It sounds like a plan. Let’s get it into action.