Delta is tired.

So very, very tired.

So then, why is she unable to sleep?

Francis and Eryk over on the other side of the seats are resting away happily, their heads leaned on each other. It is adorable enough that Delta has trouble not shipping them together, as much as she hates the idea of it.

They went through all the same horrible things as her. So why is she still wide awake?

She rubs her eyes and decides to get up from her seat.

It’s the middle of the morning now. Seven or eight by the looks of the light and the growing number of passengers boarding with each new stop.

It seems everyone’s headed to Los Angeles these days. Some for very different reasons than others…

Delta was kidnapped today. She was tortured by a Chamber of Commerce Cult run by a middle aged wine mom. And for some reason, that barely even makes an impression on her current worries.

Her worries are much more on the present moment.

No, she doesn’t regret the trip, not yet. It is true that Delta only went along with all of this insanity because she wanted to spend more time with Francis before their adult lives inevitably got in the way of their friendship together, and somewhat because Eryk, for as idiotic as he is, is actually something of a cool guy once you get to know him.

Delta will never, ever say that out loud. She will carry that thought to her grave and beyond. She does not believe in ghosts or anything remotely like that, but even if she did somehow respawn in a new form, she would make a pact with herself never to reveal that she made a compliment towards Eryk Solbourne.

One last trip with her oldest friend and her newest, um, companion. After that, she’s back to her career in marketing and back to domestic life with her dear wife.

A domestic life that includes…

Having a baby…

She looks back at Eryk and… Oh my God, that mouth on him.

She knows, deep down inside, that he wasn’t joking when he said what he did. She knows he genuinely thinks she is pregnant. And with his ridiculous card-based superpowers, who knows, maybe he’s actually right.

Somehow… What the hell is going on with her? Of course she’s not pregnant. Lesbians, at least the ones who are cisgender and married to another cisgender woman, have a zero percent chance of conceiving a baby by accident. It’s not some sort of miniscule possibility. It isn’t a case of the Chicago Bears winning the World Series. It isn’t even the case of the Undertaker losing in WrestleMania (don’t ask why Delta knows about these things). This is zero percent. 0.0000%.

Absolutely ridiculous to even think that Eryk would be saying anything other than a fanciful fabrication from his overactive imagination. He probably thinks that Delta’s cell phone counts as a sentient being. He probably doesn’t even know how to make a baby.

Yep. That’s what Delta is going with right now.

Damn, she needs a drink…

Delta goes a few train cars up to where the bar is located. It’s empty, being seven in the morning and all, but there’s still a self-serve station for whatever reason. And it gives her exactly the peace and quiet she needs to reflect on everything.

She goes over to the self-serve station, takes a long look at it, and wonders what drink she should try. Whiskey, rum, gin…

And then…

She realizes she’s holding her hands to her abdomen and groans to herself. That stupid Solbourne and his infectious ideas.

Delta sits down at the bar, but doesn’t take a drink. It’s for the best, anyway. Getting drunk the middle of the morning when you had just been knocked out and kidnapped less than a day prior is probably not a solid idea to begin with.


So much sighing this morning.

Suddenly, Delta’s phone vibrates.

Thanks to having to leave Paso Robles in such a hurry, Delta no longer has any clothes, any toiletries, any of her vibrators, anything but what’s on her person at this exact moment. Just her current outfit, her wallet, and her phone. Not even a charger, and this thing’s already down to 60% battery.

She would turn the thing off to conserve, but she sees the text message she just received—

And her heart goes cold.

No, this is not another message from Julie. She’s already exchanged a few texts with her since the Paso Robles incident, mostly to reassure her that everything is okay and to blatantly lie about her past two days.

This message is from…


“Hey. Heard you might be stopping by soon. I await the arrival of my bethrothed! ;)”


Just… ugh.

Why in the hell are they actually headed to Los Angeles?

Francis surely knows what is going to happen. Taylor, his quite stupid younger sister, is going to take over everything completely and cause an infinite amount of drama. Delta knows it. Eryk probably knows it and he doesn’t even know who Taylor is.

And even after all these years, she can’t get over the fact that she was Delta’s “first kiss,” as if that means anything. Delta was nine years old! Taylor was six! This woman, one of the most aggressively heterosexual women that Delta has ever met, refuses to let that go and thinks it’s actually funny.

It’s… not. Delta does not find it funny. Though Julie sort of does for some reason. She thinks it’s because Delta had annoying siblings too. Delta was just an only child all her life, unless you count living with Francis and the Bacalls in high school.

Delta deletes Taylor’s message. She’ll deal with that when it actually comes. It would probably be wise to tell Francis about this, too, but he has had a lot on his mind lately, so… Probably not.

Of course, Delta has just as much on her mind, too. That’s why she’s here at the bar at seven in the morning, drinking a paper cup of water and thinking about the absolute certainty that she is not pregnant. What a life she’s living right now…

…Maybe she should do something drastic and just reinvent herself. Bring back the gothic lolita look, maybe. She wouldn’t want to give off a bad impression and attract a bunch of straight boys, but she also really does want to attract a bunch of straight boys and lead them on. It’s a tough quandry.

Reinvent herself mid-adventure and come back to Julie as a brand-new woman? Sounds pretty good.

With that sudden clarity in mind, she finishes up in the bar and goes back to her seat. She falls asleep almost immediately.